A few months ago, we had parent’s evening for both boys. I was expecting to be told that AJ was still behind as he had always struggled with certain learning. What I wasn’t expected was to be told that J was really struggling. He was displaying behaviours that questioned everyone.
A little while ago, me and their dad was talking and wondering if J was displaying traits of ASD as a key worker from a local charity had seen some of them in him, but we had just brushed it off as copying behaviour as he looks up to his brother. We noticed he was running around in circles which I know doesn’t seem unusual to some people, but he was also doing repetitive movements which we thought of could have been him stimming. We spoke to a few professionals who also brushed it off as copying behaviour.
I took him to the GP one friday afternoon as he’s had a chesty cough that seems to only get worse and was affecting his asthma, was worried he may of had a chest infection. As it was straight after school, I picked him up and told him that we was heading to the doctor. This led to a meltdown as it was out of routine. When we got to the GP, I managed to get him to calm down and warned the nurse that he may not talk to them as he was being assessed for selective mutism and ASD. Only when he got in there, he was talking to the nurse and medical student doctor. Both noticed that I was surprised and to be honest I was as in the past, he never spoke to anyone other than us. The nurse asked me if he was acting like himself to which I replied no and said that she believes he could be masking traits.
This encounter led me to talk to his teacher and we chatted about it as she too had a few concerns which she was going to raise to the SENCO. I also asked if the SENCO department could possibly watch him in class as I was feeling like I was going out of my mind. She agreed and was going to ask if I was ok for him to be observed in class. Fast forward a few months and we discovered that he was indeed potentially masking ASD traits.
So, What Is Masking?
Masking or sometimes can be referred as camouflaging are terms that are used to described individuals who are neurodiverse that hide their traits. For that individual, they do it to be able to fit in, in the neurotypical world.
How can you tell if someone is masking?
In a simple answer, no you can’t tell unless you have lived with another ASD individual. The only way we knew that J was masking was he was displaying traits of ASD at home, but not anywhere else. I also knew when I took him to the GP and most recently the hospital and watched him mask in front of them.
Is it good for them to mask?
To be honest, no. When that individual masks, for them it takes a lot of energy and can impact on their mental health as when it gets too much for them to mask for long periods, they can explode which can release a lot of angry as well as being very anxious over what other people could think about them. It could also make them very unhappy and lead to being depressed.
Although masking isn’t a usual sign of ASD, it was one of the only traits that he has been displaying. If you suspect that your child may have ASD, don’t sit on it, speak to your GP or child’s nursery/school.
Life at No. 20 