Finding foods that the boys both like can be quite tricky at the best of times as one eats really well, whereas the other is only eats a handful of main dinners. Some kids who are on the spectrum struggle with foods as this is due to their sensory needs and will have what is called safe foods (before anyone comes at me, not its not child abuse and no, my child won’t eat if he’s hungry). One of the boys safe foods is Lasagna. We found early on that they both absolutely love it and I wanted to try and semi homemake it on a regular basis for them, but on a budget. I will be honest and I declare that I use a jar of white sauce as I am completely rubbish at making it and the boys hated the taste every time I make it. Most of the ingredients I use are supermarket own versions and whatever I could find that was the cheapest.
Having spent the last few years working on a small budget for food shop, I wanted to write a series of recipes that didn’t break the bank and foods that you may of already had in the cupboard. I have written a blog on how I do our food shopping, check it out here.
With this recipe, you may have some mince mixture left over which you can freeze for another meal. Also this recipe is a bit of a two in one as you can use the mince mixture part of the recipe for a spaghetti Bolognese and just cook up some spaghetti instead of making it into a lasagna.
Ingredients (makes 4)
1 packet of 500g Mince
1 carton of passata
1 tin of chopped tomatoes
2 beef stock cubes
1 red wine stock cube, mixed with 100ml of boiling water (optional)
1 TBSP Italian herbs/mixed herbs
1 TSP garlic powder/ 1 clove of garlic crushed
1 TBSP plain flour (can use gluten free)
1 TBSP Worcester sauce
1 courgette, grated
1 Carrot, grated
1 Celery stick, thinly sliced
100g mushrooms
1 onion, chopped
2 TBSP tomato puree
1 TBSP oil/few spray of flora light spray
1 Jar of white sauce (yes I cheat on the white sauce)
6-10 lasagna pasta sheets
60g grams of your choice of cheese, grated
Method
Heat the oil/frying spray in a large frying/saucing pan on a medium heat. Add the mince and brown for approx 5 mins. After 5 mins, drain off most of the fat.
If using, after 5 mins add in the red wine stock and cook for 2-5 mins until its almost evaporated. Add the flour and mix. Add in the tomato puree, mix and cook for 1 min. Add all the vegetables (including garlic and onion), turn the heat down to low. cook for 5 mins.
Add in the passata, chopped tomatoes, stock cubes, worchester sauce and the herbs, mix and simmer for 30 mins.
While that’s cooking, preheat the oven at 180.
Once the mince mixture has cooked, time to start layering the lasagna. Put two ladles of the mixture into the lasagna dish, layer some of the lasagna sheets on top and put of the white sauce (1/4-1/2 jar) on top. Repeat for another layer or two. Once you’ve got our desired number of layers, sprinkle your grated cheese on top and place in the oven. Cook for 25-30 mins.
Once cooked, serve with your favourite accompaniments.
Hmm, food shopping. It can be the bane of my life at the best of times. I have times where I love it, but I honestly have times where I honestly absolutely hate and loathe it. Well, lets be honest. I think most of us hate doing the food shopping. I think with me, I loathe it as I worry about either getting food in that the kids wont eat or buying too much of the good things and it all goes in quick time. Here are my 10 tips on making food shopping that I found that just makes it little bit easier….
1. Set a Budget
This is probably one of the most important tips for food shopping out there. Once you’ve calculated all of your money for bills and have seen what money you have left over. Set your budget and make sure you stick to it. With my budget, some months I half it, use one half for a big monthly shop and the other half for our fresh weekly shop. I’ll explain most in tip 7.
2. Make a Meal Plan
Honestly, when I first started to do meal plans, I absolutely hated it and found them tiresome and boring. Having now said that, I look forward to planning meals and have now got into the habit of planning our main dinners once a month and then every Sunday, plan the breakfast and lunches for the week. If one day you don’t fancy what you had planned for that day, but something else that you had planned for another day, you can always swap it around. Also planning your meals out can help reduce missing items off, stop buying random items or anything that you don’t actually need. I also find writing your meal plan down helps. Download my customisable meal planner.
3. Check Your Cupboards/Fridge/Freezer
Before you plan your meals out and write a shopping list, have a look in kitchen cupboards and fridge/freezer and see what you got. This can help reduce down buying food that you already have and also help out with your meal planning.
4. Eat First!
I know this tip sounds the most silliest one of all of them, but it’s true. Don’t go food shopping when you are hungry as you will most likely end up with food in your trolley that you don’t need because you was feeling hungry whilst you were going round shopping. Believe me, we’ve all been there. Try and eat before you go.
5. Use Supermarket Brands
We tried this tip out a few years as we needed to try and make our food last longer. We swapped a few of our favourite food items from big brands to supermarket own brand. Honestly, some of them taste just as good as the more expensive brand. Sometimes, the supermarket brands taste better than the more expensive ones. Plus, you will save a bunch more money at the same time.
6. Split up food and freeze
Recently, I found buying the bigger packets of food (especially the fresh meat) and splitting it into separate freezer food bags has helped to keep food costs down as much as possible as we only use the amount we need for each meal. Also, with veg, I found blanch cooking some of it and freezing helps to keep cost down as well.
7. Shop Once
Doing a big food shop will help reduce the amount of shopping trips. If you can afford to do so, as mentioned in Tip 1, split your budget up, do one big monthly food shop of your cupboard essentials. These would consist of your tinned food (chopped tomatoes, baked beans, etc), cereal, long life milk etc. Whatever is left of your budget, split that into 4 and this will be for your fresh items such as bread, butter, fridge bits for a weekly shop.
8. Use Offers Wisely
Some of BOGOF offers are very tempting and can be very appealing. If the item that is on offer, steer away. It will take a lot of willpower, but trust me, you would be better off. Do use the offers if it’s going to save you money on items that you actually need.
9. Compare Supermarkets
When I first had my eldest, I saw a website advertise to compare all the current big supermarket that compared prices of food in all of the supermarket to help you find which one would be the cheapest for you to shop at for the week/month. Unfortunately, that website creased in 2020, but there are other website that can help.
If you’re shopping on a small budget, try a budget supermarket such as Aldi or Lidi. I found that these two supermarkets help to save you a packet and you get good value for your money. Aldi has also recently starting doing click and collect.
10. Leftovers
I know some of you may wonder why is leftovers a tip for food shopping. Leftovers are great at helping to keep food costs down as well as helping you to have less trips to the supermarket. If you have any leftovers at the end of your meal, freeze it or place it in your fridge to have the next day for lunch.
I hope these tips help you in any way as I know food shopping can be daunting and overwhelming for some people.
When I started on this journey to finding out if my kids have ASD and ADHD, I honestly felt I had failed as a parent, I didn’t know where to look, who to turn to for advice or support. When your child is diagnosed, you’re normally told that this is what they have got and send you on your way. When AJ was diagnosed, I literally felt like a deer or a rabbit in the headlight. I didn’t know how to feel, what to expect or where to turn to for support. I spent many hours searching through the internet, looking for answers, where to turn to for support, not just for AJ, but for us parents too. When I restarted my blogging journey, I wanted to be able to advocate for AJ and other kids for SEN and Additional needs, but also be there for parents and have a place that parents can turn to look for support and get advice to maybe access support that they need.
1. You Are Good Enough
I know you probably don’t feel like it, but remember that you are good enough and are doing brilliantly. I have been in the same boat as you and felt like I was a failure to my kids. It’s ok to feel overwhelmed and see a 5 minute breather. It’s not an easy job raising a child with additional needs, but you are not a failure.
2. Your Child is Amazing
You will be told so many times that your child is slow, stupid, called all sort of names, but they are amazing. They may have been born differently and not like the other children they’re age, but that is ok. Kids with additional needs are the most resillent human beings and are truly amazing and they have the most amazing parent too.
3. You’re Not Alone
When I first started this journey, I felt so alone. Felt like no one around understood what I was going through. In reality, there was hundred and thousands of other parents out there who know exactly what I am going through and the struggles I was having. Remember, you are not alone, there is someone who understand and ready to talk to you.
4. Stand Up For What You Believe in
For a few years, I was told that what I was seeing with the boys was all in my head and that there was nothing wrong. At first, I start to believe that I was maybe seeing things until one day I flipped and stood my ground and stood up for what I believed in. If you believe that your child has SEN/Additional needs, stand up for what you believe in. You know your child the best.
5. Join Support Groups
I was very sceptical about joining support groups. This was due to the anxiety I had when I first became a mum at the age of 20 and made to feel like a completely outsider. After spending a few weeks giving myself a pep talk, I joined a few online support groups and glad I did as they have helped me so much and like someone understood and gave me advice when I needed it the most.
“Autism doesn’t come with a manual. It comes with a parent who doesn’t give up’
A few months ago, we had parent’s evening for both boys. I was expecting to be told that AJ was still behind as he had always struggled with certain learning. What I wasn’t expected was to be told that J was really struggling. He was displaying behaviours that questioned everyone.
A little while ago, me and their dad was talking and wondering if J was displaying traits of ASD as a key worker from a local charity had seen some of them in him, but we had just brushed it off as copying behaviour as he looks up to his brother. We noticed he was running around in circles which I know doesn’t seem unusual to some people, but he was also doing repetitive movements which we thought of could have been him stimming. We spoke to a few professionals who also brushed it off as copying behaviour.
I took him to the GP one friday afternoon as he’s had a chesty cough that seems to only get worse and was affecting his asthma, was worried he may of had a chest infection. As it was straight after school, I picked him up and told him that we was heading to the doctor. This led to a meltdown as it was out of routine. When we got to the GP, I managed to get him to calm down and warned the nurse that he may not talk to them as he was being assessed for selective mutism and ASD. Only when he got in there, he was talking to the nurse and medical student doctor. Both noticed that I was surprised and to be honest I was as in the past, he never spoke to anyone other than us. The nurse asked me if he was acting like himself to which I replied no and said that she believes he could be masking traits.
This encounter led me to talk to his teacher and we chatted about it as she too had a few concerns which she was going to raise to the SENCO. I also asked if the SENCO department could possibly watch him in class as I was feeling like I was going out of my mind. She agreed and was going to ask if I was ok for him to be observed in class. Fast forward a few months and we discovered that he was indeed potentially masking ASD traits.
So, What Is Masking?
Masking or sometimes can be referred as camouflaging are terms that are used to described individuals who are neurodiverse that hide their traits. For that individual, they do it to be able to fit in, in the neurotypical world.
How can you tell if someone is masking?
In a simple answer, no you can’t tell unless you have lived with another ASD individual. The only way we knew that J was masking was he was displaying traits of ASD at home, but not anywhere else. I also knew when I took him to the GP and most recently the hospital and watched him mask in front of them.
Is it good for them to mask?
To be honest, no. When that individual masks, for them it takes a lot of energy and can impact on their mental health as when it gets too much for them to mask for long periods, they can explode which can release a lot of angry as well as being very anxious over what other people could think about them. It could also make them very unhappy and lead to being depressed.
Although masking isn’t a usual sign of ASD, it was one of the only traits that he has been displaying. If you suspect that your child may have ASD, don’t sit on it, speak to your GP or child’s nursery/school.
The boys finished school this week for the Christmas holidays. They are both excited for Xmas, but they are also both are finding it overwhelmed. The change in weather and temperature, decorations everywhere, for them in all daunting and sometimes, a bit much.
Yesterday (Saturday), I went and did our weekly fresh food shop. I was toing and froing about taking one of the boys with me as sometimes we need to separate them from each other. In the end, I decided to leave them both at home with Jim and boy! I’m glad that I did. The supermarket was jam packed full of shopper at 8:30 in the morning. They were also playing Christmas music at what felt like full volume, which is ok, don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a problem with it. The boys would have found it too much due to the noise level. We’ve recently been given some ear defenders for our youngest as he’s been struggling with noise due to his sensory needs. To be honest, they have been a god send for certain situations.
This week we also had a meeting with the school SENCO to discuss the boys’ ANPs (additional needs plans). We found out a few weeks ago that our eldest is severely dyslexic which wasn’t a surprised we had suspected that he was dyslexic, but it was still a shock if that makes sense. The school had also sent off the application for his EHCP (educational health care plan) which was accepted to be assessed. Hopefully we find out at the end of January if they grant it. We also found that the school suspected our youngest is also on the spectrum somewhere. I approached the school a while ago as I had a feeling that he was showing signs, but wasn’t 100% sure. I also witnessed him masking of front of other people and asked the school to maybe observe him in class of which they did and said to us that they have their suspicions that he was autistic as well.
This week, I also accepted a new job position for the same place I’m currently working at after a few years of waiting for the job advert to come up again. I decided to return to working as a HCA, but this time in paediatrics rather than on the bank as I am hoping in the next few years to go to university and study to become a paediatric nurse. It has been something that I’ve been wanting to do for the last 8/9 years. I felt now was the right time after everything starting to get into place especially for the boys and I am also able to work around Jim’s shifts as he has set days and my workplace able to give me set days/shifts so we don’t have to worry about childcare.
This week has been a bit trying and we’ve had a few ups and downs, but looking forwards and achieving those dreams.
*** Please note this was written about an month ago and I forgot to upload it ***
14th November 2021
Hey!
I thought I’d try and write a weekly up date on how our week has been as to be honest, this week especially, it’s been difficult to sit down and write what we’ve been getting up to.
Monday
Today was AJ’s first day at an after school club. I won’t lie and say I wasn’t nervous because I was. I think it’s just purely because of his needs and how he can struggle with change in routine. We had prepared him for the last few weeks that it was coming and he was quite excited to go. It felt weird going to only pick up J as it’s usually the pair of them. It was nice being able to spend time with just J, even if it was just an hour. When I went to pick AJ up an hour later, he came out with a big smile and told me how much he enjoyed it. He also wanted to look at joining some other after school clubs. Tonight, I felt really proud of him for going out of his comfort zone.
Tuesday
Today, J woke up complaining that his chesty cough was annoying him and started to hurt. He’s had a chesty cough for 2-3 weeks that didn’t seem to be getting any better. I had taken him to the GP on Friday who ruled out a chest infection. I decided to give his consultant a ring (he’s under a consultant for his asthma) as he never complains when he has a cough. She rang me back an hour and asked if we could attend the day unit for him to be assessed after school. Sure! After I picked him up, we headed straight to the hospital. After she assessed him, she decided to prescribe him a short course of antibiotics, followed by placing him on long term antibiotics for the winter. After getting home, I tried to administer the first dose. To be honest, I felt I was wrestling an alligator trying to get the antibiotic into him.
Wednesday
I started the day at 2 this morning. J woke up and struggled to settle back to sleep. I don’t know why, but was a bit worried as I was due in work at 9. Managed to get him back down to sleep around 4, but then struggled to get back to sleep myself. Just as I managed to start falling back to sleep around 5:30, AJ then woke up for the day. Decided there was no point in going back to sleep and took him downstairs. After getting the boys to school, I headed to work for the day. It was quite busy and the muppet I am, I forgot to attend my booster jab appointment. After finishing work at 3, I headed to the school to pick the boys up. It was also the day of the book fair so took them along. We did it when AJ first started school and wanted J to get the chance to experience it as well. We weren’t able to do it last year when Harry first started school due to covid. Both boys enjoyed it and both got a new book to read at home as they both have started reading a lot more at home. AJ also brought himself a poppy with his pocket money so he could wear it at the remembrance assembly tomorrow.
Thursday
Today was my day off work as it’s my week to work on Saturday. After dropping the boys at school and honestly it feeling like one of the worst drop offs in while due to AJ having a meltdown, we waited in Jim’s medication as since the pandemic started, we’ve been getting his and J’s medication delivered and continued to do so. Once the medication turned up, we headed out to the local supermarket to pick up extra food as we had been asked to supply AJ with extra snacks for school. Honestly, this child could eat for England. After we got back and put the food shopping away, we chilled for the rest of the day until it was time to pick the boys up from school. I honestly live for the day where I can just put my feet up for a few hours and just relax. Today was one of these days, but I was also really tired as the boys had gotten me up at 2 again. After school wasn’t any better as AJ had a meltdown near enough the moment he got in the door from school. I think it was purely because he was tired and needed some sleep.
If you had been following me on social media for a while, you will know that on 12th February 2021 our eldest was given his formal diagnosis of ASD. This is also known as Autism or Autism Spectrum Disorder. Along the process, I had many questions of how the process, how we got him referred, signs etc etc. So I thought I would write a blog post with the most asked questions and our view/experience on the process.
How did you know that he could be autistic?
For me, this was quite difficult as I will be honest, I was in denial at first. I personally this was because he was my first born and I didn’t want to think that there was anything wrong as such. Also, everyone who has autism, they present differently to each other. Having said that, the first sign we noticed was when he was about 18 months old and he threw silence tantrums. Yep, thats right! He used to just lay on the floor, face down when he didn’t get his own way or didn’t want to do anything that we wanted to do. The other things we noticed over time was:
dislike of loud noises
the need for routine
dislike of hair being cut/washed
the need to know anything
the lack of speech before 5 years of age<
lining of things in particular order
How long is the process?
For us, from start to finish, it was just over 2 years. In our area, this is the average time. In other places, it could be shorter or longer.
How did you get him referred?
We had a meeting with his school with SENCO and one of his teacher and we was advised to contact the GP to have him referred him. From my understanding, your child’s school, health visitor or GP can refer your child in to be tested.
What does the process entail?
I believe the whole process is different in each area, but in our area we had the referral go in, within 6 months, they are assessed by a specialist nurse normally within their own home environment. Unfortunately for this, it was a year before he was assessed. Six months later, we had an appointment with the consultant to discuss family history, his behaviours and our concerns. Four to six months afterwards, we was invited for a BOSA assessment and was told there and then that he has ASD.
What is BOSA?
From my understanding, BOSA is where the consultant chats to your child and while chatting to your child, can observe their behaviours. This is how our BOSA assessment went and to be honest, I actually liked the assessment this way as it was too distressing for him and the consultant was able to observe more of him and not have too many distractions as such.
I hope this was helpful to anyone who is currently going through the process of having their child testing for ASD. I’m not a trained professional, but if anyone has any question or needs advice, please don’t hesitate to leave a comment or email via the contact page.
This morning started at the usual early morning start, but thankfully this time, I managed to keep J quiet enough and not turn on any lights and wake his brother up. I felt I hadn’t slept a wink. That is something that a lot of people don’t know or not enough people talk about. Some people with ASD/ADHD have issues with sleep. They either struggle to settle for bed and can be up until the early hours, or they are up and down all night. Some may even struggle to settle and up and down all night. With both boys, they struggle to settle and can be up and down throughout the night.
While Jim and AJ slept in, we chilled out downstairs watching a film whilst having the fairy lights on as low light. I always found that having low light such as the fairy lights, helps bring a calm atmosphere for the boys. Also I love it as it feels cosy rather than having the main light on. AJ managed to lie until about 7ish which is a record for him as he is usually up at 5/5:30 every morning. It didn’t bother him as he obviously needed it. I gave them their breakfast as they tend to tell me when they want their breakfast. In the past, I’ve tried to keep to a routine as we tend to have less meltdown with a routine. Typically both boys tend to throw themselves out of the routine which can be a problem.
We decided around 10 that to take the boys out and explore down our local woods. Our first difficulty for getting the boys to wear their coats. AJ struggles to understand that even when it can look like it’s nice and sunny outside, in certain seasons, even though it’s sunny, it can be bitterly cold. Once we managed to get their coats on, we headed down to the woods. They love jumping around and explore especially a certain part that we call the waterfall. They explored the area to find sticks and stones/rocks to build things with. We realised it had been quite a few months since we had been down there as we had gone back to work and school and had a lot more relaxing weekends at home. We noticed that there was a decline in the area which was sad as its a beautiful place to go and relax in and enjoy being out in the fresh air. After a little while, we went off and explored the rest of the woods and to see if we could find new areas for us to find. AJ got a bit edgy as he likes to go to the usual places as he doesn’t like change very well.
After spending exploring the woods and taking a very slow stroll back home (J struggles walking any sort of distances), we came back home to chill out for the rest of the day. As I started to try and crack on with making lunch/dinner, AJ went into a full meltdown over wanting something for his game. To everyone else, meltdowns looks like tantrums, but in reality, they’re not as people with ASD struggle to express certain feelings such as being overly anxious or overwhelmed. With this meltdown, we felt he had been overwhelmed as it had been the first week back after the after term and he’s started to ‘mask’ at school so lets it all out at the weekend. It had gone on for over an hour and after doing lots of deep pressure with hugs and his weighted blanket as well as talking to his grandparents, we managed to help him calm down enough.
The time was now coming up for 1/1:30. Time for lunch. At the weekends, we try and have our main dinner at lunch time and something light in the evenings. We found this had worked better for us and we didn’t all go to bed on a heavy dinner. We tried a new pinch of nom recipes as we all like their recipes. AJ wasn’t keen on the main part of it as it was chicken which is something that can be hit and miss with him. J managed to eat all of his and then went onto AJ’s leftovers (whatever AJ didn’t want).
We spent the rest of the day, chilling out watching films and getting ready for a new week. Back to angle grind as my other half keeps saying. Felt I had a small win with J tonight as he managed to fall asleep quite quickly. Maybe going out for that walk did him some good. AJ was trickier as he seemed quite wired tonight. I don’t know if that’s because he’s nervous about tomorrow as he started his first after school club or what. It probably didn’t help that we had fireworks going off again for what must be the 5th or 6th night in a row. I somewhat forgot it was bonfire weekend didn’t I? Whoops! He managed to eventually settle. Even though today felt like crap, here’s hoping for a better week as I know there will be more good days than bad ones.
If you followed me on instagram for a little while, you will have seen me discuss about our journey on getting AJ diagnosed with ASD or Autism Spectrum Disorder. It had been a two year long journey from the moment the referral went in to getting the diagnosis.
2013/2014
AJ was born in October of 2013. We had an complicated pregnancy as I got pre-eclampia towards the end. We also had a difficult birth as he had to be revived and spent a couple of hours in the SCBU (special care baby unit). The first year of his life was spent up and down as he kept getting chest infections, being a colicky baby and later found out he had a dairy intolerance. Besides those things, he was a very relaxed baby, hitting all of his milestones. He slept through the night from 10 weeks, was walking by ten months. I didn’t have any concerns, but I was a first time mum so I thought he was developing fine.
2015
Not long after AJ turned one, we started to notice something, but at the time, being a first time mum, wasn’t sure what it was. AJ has always had a fascination with lining his toys up. He would line them up one after another, but also had to be in colour order as well. I spoke to the Health Visitor about it, but was brushed off as normal toddler behaviour. We also noticed that AJ would slightly rock when he was sat down. He was very active which i put down to him exploring and being a toddler basically.
2016
After AJ turned two, my partner started to notice more things. I started to notice his tantrums weren’t like other toddlers tantrums. He would place himself on the floor, face down and just lie there. This started to happen a lot more. He was also delayed in talking too. He did the usual mama, dada sounds, but that was all he had out of him. Before his brother was born in the July of 2016, we noticed how quiet he was and started to question if it was normal. Once again it was brushed off as normal toddler behaviour as we were told that some toddlers are actually quiet. By this point, he also very much liked routine. I put in down to the fact that we had a well behaved child (I know that sounds a bit snobbish). Not long after his brother arrived, this is when we noticed a real change in him and i started to have self doubts within myself. I always felt that AJ wasn’t autistic as he was very sociable. We started to notice that he was holding his hands to his ears wherever we went that was loud and noisy. Why was he doing this? I had his ears checked incase they were causing him pain as he was still non-verbal at this point. We also started to notice he was fidgeting a-lot more and has difficulties in sitting still. He also started to get angry with everything. Literally everything was making him angry.
2017
Just before Bear turned AJ, he was referred to speech and language as he was still non-verbal. You could a lot of babbling like baby speech out or not, but that was all you could get. By this point, I just to realise that there was definitely something there, but couldn’t what it could be. It was around this time, we started to notice that he had an obsession with putting things in his mouth to chew and was near enough hungry all the time. He used to (and still does) chew holes in his clothing, chew on toys. The wait for speech and language was too long and when we finally had the first appointment, we knew it was for the long run. He was also late in potty training. He didn’t potty train until just after his fourth birthday, but it wasn’t easy. He managed to be dry day and night in two days. Yes, you read that right. He cracked going for a wee in two days, but the other side was another story.
2018/2019
AJ started school and at first, all seems fine. We then started being spoked to by the teacher assistant/teacher about his behaviour. I felt ashamed as he was being disruptive in class, still having accidents. We was then pulled into a meeting at the school as they had concerns. “AJ’s mum and dad, we believe AJ has autism”. Hallelujah! I nearly bursted into tears. I generally thought up until this point that all of his behaviours were “naughty” behaviours and I was doing something wrong. Turns out the school that noticed it within the first couples of week and wanted to talk to about regarding it and if he was ever referred to the paediatricians for it. The school advised us to go to the GP for him to be referred in, but it was going to a long wait for an appointment as in the area we live in, its an 18 month to 2 years waiting list.
2020
A few months after he turned 6, we had an appointment at home with the specialist nurse who was one of the most loveliest people we could have ever met on this journey. She came out as part of the diagnostic pathway, she needed to assessment at home, in his own environment. All of the things that were his quirky ways we had hoped he would show in front of her as some of the time, he didn’t. Thankfully, he did and at the end of it, she told us that she believed he had autism and needed to be seen by the consultant soon as possible to get his diagnosis quicker so he can receive help that he needed sooner.
A month later and lockdown had come for the whole country. We were given the option to have AJ continue in school, but we had to keep him at home as we had two members of the household in shielding. He struggled enormously trying to learn and do school work at home. The school very Kindly came round with some printed school work for him to completely. The school also put us in touch with a charity who offered a key worker service which helped him.
In September we was offered an virtual video appointment with the consultant which included background medical history, what we saw in AJ and the things that he did. It was an hour and an half long, but to us it was worth it if it meant he got an diagnosis which led him to the help he needed.
2021
In the second week of February I received a phone call asking to bring AJ in for an assessment on the Friday which was in 2 days time. I accepted straight away and took him along. It was just us and the consultant and to me, all the consultant did was talk to AJ and asked him to do a couple of things. This lasted about an hour and at the end, the consultant told me that from the assessment and reports from various professionals, he was able to diagnosis AJ with autism. A massive relief came over us as we finally got his diagnosis and start to work towards getting the help that he needs.
If you feel that your child is displaying traits of ASD, speak to your child’s health visitor, nursery worker, teacher and ask to look at referring them for assessment. I am no way a medical professional, I am just an honest parent sharing her experiences of having a child with asd and the process we went through.
If you already have a diagnosis and need a friendly face to talk to, please use the contact page and I am always here to support you.
Today didn’t get off to a great start. J was up at 5:30 (this is late for him) raring to go for the day. He went to bed last night in the clothes he was wearing the day before as he didn’t want to get out of them and decided to sleep in them. I know some people would say that it’s either disgusting or lazy on our part, but believe me, I know when to pick my battles and this was one that was going to be a losing battle.
He decided when he woke up that he wanted to get out of his clothes and into pjs. Yep, I know! He went into his and AJ’s room and turned the light on before I could even stand up. “MUMMA?!” Yep, he woke AJ up. He was grumpy after being woken up. Well, anyone would be if they gotten woke up unnecessarily. Took him downstairs and gave him his weighted blanket to prevent him having a meltdown. Thankfully it worked.
We sat quietly catching up on our favourite Youtubers on the telly so not to disturb anyone. Due to ASD, the boys lack some of understanding so trying to explain to them that they need to keep the volume levels to a bare minimum is near enough goes to one ear and straight out the next. Luckily this morning, I think they were a bit sleepy to make a lot of noise.
Breakfast came a bit tricky as J wanted a mixture of cereal which in today’s case it was porridge and weetabix. I told him that he had to choose one or the other. I know some people would say why not just let him eat the combination. He’s had it before and didn’t like and refused to eat the rest of the bowl. After about half an hour, he decided to have weetabix.
AJ spent most of the morning, either helping to tidy up so he could earn a bit of pocket money (recently been teaching him about money) or playing one of his favourite games, Minecraft. He also spent part of it eyeing up the cheese straws that his dad was making. Both boys have a big appetite and tend to want to eat every second of the day.
After handing out 443068590476095648 snacks to the boys, I spent the rest of the day being referee to them as they kept shouting and causing each other to meltdown and lashing out at each other. This afternoon, they were arguing over toy trucks and who can make the loudness truck noise and who can be where. Both boys hate loud noises even though they like to shout and scream at the top of their lungs all day along.
Tonight, we cooked a new meatball recipe to try new foods with the boys. I used the Spanish meatball recipe from Pinch of Nom and it was a hit. If you know me, I am a big lover of pinch of nom recipes and always recommend them as they are packed full of your 5 a day and are written by two ladies who were trying to lose weight.
The boys also seem a lot calmer this evening compared to earlier this morning. Don’t know if it was the early wake up call or if having the curtains shut and the fairy lights on made it a calming atmosphere for them. I won’t lie and say it’s easy because its not. There are days where I am curled up in a ball, balling my eyes out as its been tough dealing with the constant meltdowns, fighting to get their needs met.
Hoping tomorrow will be a bit less of a challenging day.
Life at No. 20 