When I started on this journey to finding out if my kids have ASD and ADHD, I honestly felt I had failed as a parent, I didn’t know where to look, who to turn to for advice or support. When your child is diagnosed, you’re normally told that this is what they have got and send you on your way. When AJ was diagnosed, I literally felt like a deer or a rabbit in the headlight. I didn’t know how to feel, what to expect or where to turn to for support. I spent many hours searching through the internet, looking for answers, where to turn to for support, not just for AJ, but for us parents too. When I restarted my blogging journey, I wanted to be able to advocate for AJ and other kids for SEN and Additional needs, but also be there for parents and have a place that parents can turn to look for support and get advice to maybe access support that they need.
1. You Are Good Enough
I know you probably don’t feel like it, but remember that you are good enough and are doing brilliantly. I have been in the same boat as you and felt like I was a failure to my kids. It’s ok to feel overwhelmed and see a 5 minute breather. It’s not an easy job raising a child with additional needs, but you are not a failure.
2. Your Child is Amazing
You will be told so many times that your child is slow, stupid, called all sort of names, but they are amazing. They may have been born differently and not like the other children they’re age, but that is ok. Kids with additional needs are the most resillent human beings and are truly amazing and they have the most amazing parent too.
3. You’re Not Alone
When I first started this journey, I felt so alone. Felt like no one around understood what I was going through. In reality, there was hundred and thousands of other parents out there who know exactly what I am going through and the struggles I was having. Remember, you are not alone, there is someone who understand and ready to talk to you.
4. Stand Up For What You Believe in
For a few years, I was told that what I was seeing with the boys was all in my head and that there was nothing wrong. At first, I start to believe that I was maybe seeing things until one day I flipped and stood my ground and stood up for what I believed in. If you believe that your child has SEN/Additional needs, stand up for what you believe in. You know your child the best.
5. Join Support Groups
I was very sceptical about joining support groups. This was due to the anxiety I had when I first became a mum at the age of 20 and made to feel like a completely outsider. After spending a few weeks giving myself a pep talk, I joined a few online support groups and glad I did as they have helped me so much and like someone understood and gave me advice when I needed it the most.
“Autism doesn’t come with a manual. It comes with a parent who doesn’t give up’
You can do it!
Life at No. 20 
I am on the autistic spectrum as well, and I like the points you mentioned in this blog. I feel a lot of parents don’t understand what autism or ADHD is when their child gets diagnosed, which means they may not know what to do. Thanks for sharing!
Feel free to read some of my blogs, I also blog on autism 🙂
LikeLike
As a neurodivergent person (ADHDer) I can for sure remember what it was like as a kid not being taken seriously. My favorite was “You are so smart! Why don’t you just just apply yourself?” This all affected me so much that I grew up to be a psychotherapist for neurodivergent folx!
What I want to say to you, Holly, is to keep being awesome! Being the mother of neurodivergent children trying to support them in a system that invalidates them and expects them to work and think a certain way is a lot–and that’s an understatement. I’ll bet you feel a lot of what they feel, as well, from teachers, colleagues, and other parents.
For what it’s worth, from a neurodivergent kid, you’re doing great for your boys and I know they appreciate you that much more for it :).
LikeLike